


FanX

by this_book_has_been_loved



Series: Platonic VLD Week [14]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Crack, Gen, Help, I don't even know what's happening, pure unadulterated fun and sillyness, this was just an excuse to make Lance dress as Finn from Adventure Time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-19 22:25:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14247021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/this_book_has_been_loved/pseuds/this_book_has_been_loved
Summary: In which the Garrison Trio visits a nerd convention. Shenanigans ensue.





	FanX

“Have you guys heard of FanX?”

It was Lance who posed the question, lounged across the sofa in Pidge’s living room, leaning up against Hunk’s side and using Pidge’s legs as a footrest.

“The con?” Hunk asked. “Yeah, of course, I got my pass weeks ago. I didn’t realize you knew that existed.”

“Yeah, my sister got me a ticket, as a birthday gift,” Lance replied. “It sounds like fun.”

“Matt and I are both going,” Pidge commented absently, focused on something on her phone. “We go every year. It’s kind of a tradition at this point.”

“Really?” Lance asked, perking up. “Man, I should have realized. You two are nerds.”

Pidge glanced up at him dryly, raising an eyebrow. “And you’re not? You said you were going too.”

“Hmm,” he grumbled. “Fair point.”

Hunk’s eyes had widened, and he was practically vibrating in his seat. “Oh my gosh. Oh, this is gonna be so cool. Are you gonna be dressing up?” 

“Hell yeah! Only best character of all time: Finn the Human!”

Hunk gasped in excitement. “ _Adventure Time_?! Awesome!”

“Yeah, it’s one of my favorite shows,” Lance said, beaming. “Finn is just the best! And everyone says he sounds a lot like me.”

Pidge cocked her head. “I don’t see it.”

He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, whatever,” he said, kicking at her gently. “What about you, Hunk?”

He smiled, his eyes twinkling. “You’re just gonna have to wait and see,” he replied. “But I’ve been working on it for months now and I’m really excited!”

“Oooo,” Lance sang. “Can’t wait.” He nudged at Pidge again with his foot. “Pidge? Pidgey. Pigeon. Pidgeroo. Pidge-asaurus.”

“ _What_?”

“What are you dressing up as?”

She scoffed. “No one.”

Hunk blinked in surprise. “No one? What do you mean?”

“I mean, I’m not dressing up.”

“What?” Lance cried. “But Pidge, that’s the whole point!”

She shrugged. “I just don’t really care.”

“Well, maybe you just need the right character,” Hunk mused thoughtfully. “Peridot? She’s small and nerdy and likes the color green, just like you.”

“Hunk, I’m not gonna paint myself green.”

“Oh!” Lance sat up straight and threw his arms up in the air. “I know!” He pointed at her excitedly, snapping his fingers. “Be my BMO!”

“No.”

“Aw, come on.”

“ _No_.”

“ _Pidge_ ,” he groaned, slumping back against Hunk’s chest. “You’re killing the mood, my friend.”

She sighed. “Guys, I’m not going for the costumes and the merch and all that crap. I don’t care. I don’t need to dress up. I’m going for that ‘Technology of _Star Wars_ ’ panel, and nothing else,” she said flatly.

“ _Star Wars_ ,” Lance repeated, nodding. “Alright, I can work with that. Leia is the obvious choice, but I think Rey is probably more your style—”

“Not happening, Lance.”

“Are you trying to get her to dress up for FanX?” Matt called, sticking his head into the room. “Good luck.”

“Matt!” Lance exclaimed. “Ya gotta help us out, man.”

Pidge let out a long drawn-out grown. “I hate you all.”

Matt shook his head. “I tried. She threatened to throw a book at my head.”

“And I still will, asshole.”

Hunk sighed. “But it would be so much fun,” he begged.

Matt leaned in the doorway, smirking at her. “Yeah, Pidge. I’ll betcha you’ll still fit in your old Princess Leia costume, from Halloween a few years ago. I’ll even reprise Luke if you want!”

“Fuck off.” She threw a pillow at him, and he batted it away with a laugh.

Hunk had folded his arms, studying Pidge intently. “What about…,” he mused, “Dipper? From _Gravity Falls_. That’s, like, the simplest thing to put together. I mean, you already have the shorts and everything.” He gestured to the gray cargo shorts she was wearing. “Do you own an orange t-shirt?”

Matt’s eyes had lit up. “If not, I have one that would fit her.”

“And I can take care of, like, the hat and the vest,” Hunk offered.

“Pleeeeeease?” Lance pleaded, pouting at her.

Pidge squeezed her eyes shut to avoid the puppy dog eyes. “Uggghhhh,” she grumbled. “If I say yes, will you shut up?”

Hunk cheered, high-fiving Matt. “We are a go! I promise, Pidge, you won’t regret this.”

“I already am,” she muttered, but she was smiling. “God, you dorks.”

Lance had a shit-eating grin on his face, nudging her with his foot again. “Yeah, but you love us.”

She sighed. “Regretfully.”

“I’ll grab the shirt,” Matt called, already headed for the stairs, and Pidge sighed dramatically.

Lance furrowed his brow. “Is Matt dressing up?”

“Yes,” Pidge replied. “But he always keeps it a secret until the last minute and it’s the worst.”

Hunk nodded sagely. “I can respect that.”

“You don’t understand,” Pidge said more forcefully, staring into his eyes. “Last year? He was Sasuke. And he did the fucking Naruto run _everywhere_.”

Lance’s eyes were sparkling. “A true hero.”

“At least _someone_ appreciates the efforts I make for true _art_ ,” Matt proclaimed smugly as he sauntered back into the room.

“Just accept that you’re a fucking weeb, Matt,” Pidge called, before yelping as she was smacked by an orange t-shirt flung at her face.

Matt stuck out his tongue. “Oops.” He winked. “Don’t worry, Pidge. This year will be bigger and better.”

* * *

Sailor Moon.

Matt was dressed in full-out sailor scout gear, complete with the miniskirt and giant bow.

“I can’t believe this,” Pidge muttered, burying her face in her hands. “I hate you. I want you to know that. I hate you. I’m disowning you as my brother and I’m never speaking to you again.”

They were outside the convention center, waiting in line to get in. And with every person who commented on Matt’s cosplay, Pidge wanted to burrow further into the vest she wore.

“I look fabulous, sister dearest,” Matt said, winking at her. “You’re just jealous.”

“I won’t be able to go outside in public ever again.”

“Pssh, as though you ever go outside anyways.”

“I want you to know that I’m ditching you the moment we get inside.”

“I can accept that,” Matt replied. “As long as you know that it is my sacred duty as an older brother to embarrass you as often and as publicly as possible, and that I will do so whenever I see you today.”

She groaned.

* * *

**Lance: I just got in where r u guys?**

**Lance: the line upstairs was hella short yo**

**Pidge: across the atrium from u in the artist alley**

**Lance: omw**

**Hunk: I’ll meet you guys there once I’m in. I’m still in line, at the main entrance. They’re checking me now, but um. It’s gonna take a while. I have a lot of stuff**

**Lance: I’m intrigued**

**Pidge: im scared**

**Hunk: ;D**

* * *

“Is that Hunk?!”

Pidge turned to follow Lance’s gaze, and her jaw dropped.

Walking towards them was a figure in a suit of armor, a character Pidge only recognized because of Matt’s anime binges. “Holy shit, Hunk, are you _Alphonse Elric_?”

Hunk beamed. “Isn’t it awesome?! Took me ages to finish. Oh here, ya gotta see it with the helmet!” He put on the helmet he carried in his hands, and he suddenly looked like he’d walked straight out of the show. “Ta-da!”

“Holy crow, dude,” Lance said appreciatively. “This is rad.”

“Thanks!” He took the helmet back off. “Kinda hard to see out of, unfortunately.”

“Matt’s gonna flip when he sees this,” Pidge told him. “Hold on, I gotta let him know.” She pulled her phone out of her pocket to text her brother. “Be warned,” she added, “he’s in a skirt.”

Lance blinked, then shrugged. “Huh.”

And when Matt came racing over, he nearly screamed in excitement upon seeing Hunk’s cosplay.

Hunk did a 360 spin, showing off the plated armor pieces. “Pretty cool, right?”

“Hunk, this is incredible,” Matt marveled, gently running his hand along the chest plate. Pidge could practically see the stars in his eyes. “I might actually cry.”

“Please don’t,” Pidge said dryly. “You weeb.” He swatted at her.

“Oh my god,” a voice squealed, and a girl covered in gray bodypaint ran up to them. “Can I get your picture?”

Hunk was grinning ear-to-ear. “Of course!” He put his helmet back on, and he and Matt struck a pose. The girl pulled out her phone, snapping pictures, and Pidge groaned.

“Thank you!” the other girl said. “You two look fantastic!”

“Thanks!” Matt called as she ran off. He turned and smirked at Pidge. “See? Told you it was a great outfit.”

His sister rolled her eyes. She grabbed Lance with one hand and Hunk with the other. “Bye, Matt.”

He laughed, waving after her. “Goodbye, sister dearest! Love you!”

* * *

“So what now?” Lance asked, looking around. “What exactly do we do at these things?”

Hunk put an arm around his shoulder. “Now, my friend,” he said, “we _shop_.”

“The panel I wanted to go to doesn’t start till three,” Pidge said, looking at the schedule printed on the back of her badge.

“Fantastic!” Hunk proclaimed. “That gives us four hours to wander around until then.” He pointed to the dealer room across the foyer. “Shall we?”

* * *

“Wh...where did Pidge go?” 

Lance, studying the table of funko pops before him, looked up. “What?”

Hunk was standing a couple feet away, holding his helmet in his hands, and scanning the room frantically. “She was just here? I swear, she was right here like a minute ago.”

Lance frowned, turning around. “I...don’t see her,” he said. “Where the hell did she go?” He did a full spin, searching the room intently for their missing companion. “ _Shit, we lost Pidge_.”

“We lost our child,” Hunk fretted. “Should we make an announcement? That’s what you’re supposed to do when you lose a child, right? Where do we do that?”

When he started to run back towards the main entrance, Lance stopped him by putting a firm had on his shoulder. “Relax, Hunk; she’s fifteen, not six. And we have these great things called cell phones.”

“Oh. Oh, right. Okay.”

Lance pulled out his phone, typing out a text. After a minute went by with no response, he frowned. “I’ll try calling her,” he decided, pressing the phone icon.

Still no response.

“Okay,” Lance placated. “It’s hard to hear your phone go off in here, it’s too loud. Come on, she can’t be far.” He picked a direction and started walking, Hunk half a step behind him.

“She’s tiny!” he said anxiously. “She could be anywhere!”

Lance walked down the aisle, scanning each direction. “There!” he shouted suddenly, pointing towards a small figure in navy and gray.

“Pidge!” Hunk cried, running towards her. He scooped her up in a bear hug, and she yelped in surprise.

“Where did you go?” Lance demanded as Hunk set her down. “You just ran off! Why didn’t you answer your phone?”

Pidge blinked in surprise, then reached into her pocket to pull out her phone. She winced when she saw the screen, looking up at them apologetically. “Sorry,” she said. “I got distracted.” She pointed at a booth a few yards away. “I wanted to see if they had an original copy of _Killbot Phantasm One_.”

Lance gasped, all anger forgotten. “ _The First Journey to the Depths of the Demon Sphere_? Did they?!”

She deflated. “Nope. My quest continues.” She bit her lip, clasping her hands together nervously. “I’m sorry for running off,” she said. “I promise it won’t—OH MY GOD.” She took off down the hall.

Lance sighed exaggeratedly. “I can’t believe this.”

They found her about six booths down, grinning excitedly.

“What is it _now_?”

“Trivia contest!” Pidge was bouncing up and down on her toes. “Finally, all the useless facts stored in my brain can be _useful_!”

“Huh,” Hunk commented. “What’s the prize?”

“I have no clue!” she replied enthusiastically. “Who cares!!” When the person ahead of her moved aside, she raced forward and leaned on the table in a burst of energy. “Where do I sign up?”

A tad taken aback, the person sitting at the booth slid a clipboard over to her. “Starts in half an hour, at the smaller stage downstairs.”

Pidge scrawled her name on the sheet. “ _I’ll be there_.”

* * *

The questions started off easy: “What is Catwoman’s secret identity?” “What does TARDIS stand for?” “Who played R2D2?” “Which one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles wears blue?” 

But as the questions went on and players got eliminated, they got progressively more difficult.

“In which Marvel film does Stan Lee cameo as himself?”

“ _Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer_.”

“Who is the author of the _Ouran High School Host Club_ manga?”

“Bisco Hatori.”

“In which _Legend of Zelda_ game is the character Tingle first introduced?”

“ _Majora’s Mask_.”

“On what day did the first episode of _Doctor Who_ air?”

“November twenty-third, nineteen-sixty-three.”

By the time they got down to the final two players, Lance was convinced they were no longer speaking in English.

“In _Star Trek: the Original Series_ , what is the serial number of the _Enterprise_?”

Pidge’s hand slammed onto the buzzer. “NCC one seven zero one!”

“Correct!”

“Holy crow,” Hunk murmured.

“Next question: what is the Konami code?”

“Up up down down left right left right B A.”

“I think she’s speaking in cipher,” Lance commented.

“What Pokémon is number six-hundred-eighteen in the official Pokédex?”

“Stunfisk!”

“I always knew she was a nerd, but I had no idea she was _this_ nerdy,” Lance continued.

“Which very important Jedi that is key to the _Star Wars_ prequel trilogy, but never actually appears in it, had his name changed by typo in the script for _Attack of the Clones_?”

“Sifo-Dyas!”

Hunk let out a low whistle.

It was no surprise to either of the boys that Pidge won the contest. But when they announced her winner, both of them broke into cheers. “That’s my girl!” Lance cried as Hunk hoisted her up onto his shoulder, narrowly avoiding the spikes of his armor, and she laughed.

“Please go back to our booth in Dealer Room A upstairs to claim your prize,” the emcee told her, holding out a shiny voucher.

Hunk sighed. “I don’t know how many more stairs I can keep climbing in this suit.”

* * *

“Is that….”

“It is.”

“Holy fuck.”

It was taller than Pidge, though shorter than Lance and Hunk, and the three of them marvelled at it in awe.

“Guys,” Pidge stated, eyes bugging out of her head. “I just won a life-size statue of _fucking Hatsune Miku_.”

“What the heck are we supposed to do with this thing?” Hunk demanded.

The person at the booth shrugged. “I dunno, man. I’m just a volunteer. They’ve been trying to get rid of this thing all weekend.”

Lance steepled his fingers, staring at the statue. “Can I keep it?”

Pidge elbowed him. “You disgust me.”

* * *

In the end, the two boys took turns carrying her, Lance much more enthusiastic than Hunk. “I don’t understand why you want to keep this thing,” Hunk was grumbling.

“Hey,” Pidge replied defensively. “I won her fair and square, and dammit, I’m going to keep my trophy.”

Hunk sighed, setting the statue down. “I can’t believe this.”

“Whoa.” The vendor at the booth beside them was staring at the statue in awe. “Where did you get that?!”

“Our resident genius here won her,” Lance said smugly, leaning up against the massive figurine. “Pretty cool, huh?” The statue started to lean over, bumping against the display walls of the booth and causing them to sway dangerously. Lance stepped back in alarm, quickly righting Miku. “Oh no.”

“Lance!” Pidge cried, aghast. “What did you _do_?!”

“Don’t worry about it,” the vendor said, waving a hand. “Nothing broke—”

The display toppled over, crashing into the wall of posters at the both next to them, which in turn fell towards the booth beside it. Like a room of nerdy dominoes, the booths all fell to the floor one by one.

There was a deafening crash, and then silence.

In the corner of the room, smoke laced towards the ceiling, and the overhead sprinklers activated automatically.

Lance grabbed Miku around her waist. “ _RUN_!”

The three of them raced from the room back into the foyer, where people were standing around in shock and confusion, listening to the shouts coming from inside the dealer room. One of them—in his shimmery blue miniskirt and bright red bow—did a double take as he saw them.

Pidge waved at him. “MATT, WE GOTTA GO!”

“I—is that Hatsune Miku?”

“Not the point, Matt!!” Hunk called.

The sailor scout blinked once, glanced towards the mob of security officers hurrying towards them, then took off after his sister and her friends. “What the heck did you guys do?”

“We’ll explain later,” Lance shouted.

“It was Lance’s fault,” Pidge added.

“Shut up!”

At the exit, two more security officers stood up in shock, moving to block the doors. Lance’s eyes widened. “Shit, shit, shit, what do we do?”

Wordlessly, Hunk grabbed the statue from him, hurling it towards the incoming officers. They yelped, diving out of the way to avoid the projectile.

Matt skidded to a halt. “Miku!”

Beside him, Lance dropped to his knees. “Nooo!!”

“You idiots,” Pidge yelled. Hunk picked up Lance off the floor, and Pidge grabbed Matt by the wrist, yanking him after her. “Just leave the fucking statue!”

“But—” Lance protested.

“ _No_!”

They burst out the front doors, dashing down the street and ducking into the parking garage next door to the convention center. Matt’s car was parked across the garage, and the four of them all piled into it. “ _Go, go go_!” Pidge screamed.

Matt slammed his foot onto the pedal and they tore out of the garage and out onto the streets. Once they were a few blocks away, they all slumped in relief.

“Oh my god,” Hunk breathed.

“Yep,” Lance agreed. “I can’t believe you _lost_ Hatsune Miku.”

At the wheel, Matt was breathing heavily. “Okay,” he said, leveling a glare at his sister in the shotgun seat. “What did you guys _do_?”

* * *

“Well,” Lance said, sprawled across Pidge’s sofa. “Guess we’re not going back next year.”

Lying on the floor, Hunk sighed. “Probably not.”

“Eh,” Pidge shrugged. “It’s not worth it.” She crossed her arms, grumbling. “Didn’t even get to see my panel.”

**Author's Note:**

> [Check out this radical art my partner made for this fic!!](http://kabber.tumblr.com/post/172712441725/for-this-book-has-been-loveds-fic-thats-hunk)  
>  (The only payment they asked was for Matt to dress as Sailor Moon. Please blame them for any second-hand embarrassment you suffered because of this.)
> 
> This fic. Is a mess. And I love it. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing this.
> 
> I'm posting this a day late (yesterday and today were both crazy hectic so I didn't get around to finishing it on time). I'm working on today's fic, and I'll try to have that one out to you as soon as possible!! ^_^
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> ~Brigit


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